It isn’t anyone’s first choice for a vacation but it shouldn’t be anyone’s last choice either. Thirty-six hours is just the right amount of time to get a flavor for the region and garner memories that will last, maybe not a lifetime, but a few years at least.
I’m not exactly certain what to call the region. The “bi-state area” will have to do. The easiest way to access the bi-state area is by rental car from Newark Airport, although NJ Transit runs from points south and east, slipping seamlessly between the states despite its name.
After you get your rental car (Godspeed to that, by the way), you’ll travel north on the Garden State parkway, assuming of course that you don’t accidentally find yourself in the area of Newark nearest the airport at rush hour trying to follow the convoluted directions of your navigation app. I digress (pun only partially intended).
7:00 pm
There are lots of options for dinner in the area but don’t sleep on Koi 21, a humble sushi spot in Pearl River, NY, with excellent service. The tuna pizza is delightful, the rolls are ample, and the sashimi is fresh. They have a full bar with lots of fruit-inspired cocktails, although I stuck with Sapporo.
9:00 pm
Check-in time at the Element Spring Valley, in Spring Valley, NY. This demure Marriott property is tucked behind a Target, which you can access through its side parking lot. Don’t worry, you probably won’t get knifed; that’s just a guy trying to jump his girlfriend’s car while she and her mom look on. Target offers the same inventory you’d expect in any state, but a “regional custom” (aka “state law”) prevents the sale of wine and liquor at this establishment. It’s important to bone up on your blue laws before traveling, folks.
9:00 am
The breakfast spot at the Element is staffed by people who will stop scrolling on their phone to make you an omelet and you get to play “barista” by dispensing your own coffee. The meal is free but mostly carbohydrates so it’s good that you grabbed a yogurt at Target the night before.
1:00 pm
After a scenic drive to West Haverstraw’s marina area, a top spot for lunch is the Round Table Brewery in Garnersville. Round Top has over a dozen beers on tap and a strong kombucha selection as well. This writer heard that the empanadas are excellent but most of them had been directed to a group of police officers who had gathered for a K-9 training in the parking lot. The tacos and quesadillas were excellent, as was the company.
4:30 pm
The best spot for an evening aperitif is Rentz-Vinas, a speakeasy in Wesley Hills, New York, that boasts an outdoor patio and open kitchen. This joint is invite only but you can bring your dogs, and there’s a pasta selection for the kids. Select guests can stay on the grounds in the nearly art studio/fitness center.
8:30 am
Early morning is the best time for an architectural tour of Clifton, New Jersey. This off-the-beaten path spot has a great example of midcentury suburban residential living on Noll Terrace. Number 45 is a remodeled beauty - a split-level with solar panels unencumbered by the trees that once stood on the property. Across the street, the old Winberry House is an unreconstructed brick-and-shingled number whose Toyota Cellica has taken on a mossy patina that suggests its owner prefers a more environmentally friendly manner of transport - or doesn’t leave the house too much.
With a late morning flight, you’ll have time to stop at the Connie Chung Parkway Plaza, where you might find an abandoned Cabbage Patch Kid in the restaurant dining area, just as I did back in 1985. If you skipped the architectural tour, you’ll be glad for the respite, since the James Gandolfini Rest Area to the north is closed for remodeling.
If you prefer to take the local route, be sure to tune into one of the several old school hip hop radio stations, which favor legitimately great artists from the greater bi-state area, thanks to local DJs such as Ed Lover and DJ Red Alert. De La Soul and deep cuts of Big Daddy Kane are in regular rotation.
Despite familiar street names like Broad Street and Watchung Avenue, absolutely nothing in Bloomfield, New Jersey, will seem familiar until Holsten’s glides into sight. This top attraction is best known for the Sopranos finale but the real heads know it’s where I ate on my lunch breaks from Park Liquidators - now Barney’s Bargains - next store when I worked there in 1988.
10:30 am
And with a tip of the hat to Don Pepe’s in Newark’s Ironbound, your magical getaway can come to a close with an Italian hero from The Real Deli. Unsurprisingly, this sandwich manages, despite its humble origins in EWR’s C concourse, to be better than most of the Italian subs in California. How do they do it, folks? Is it the water in the bread? The secret brand of red wine vinegar? That every jabroni in the state knows how to thin-slice a deli meat? Whatever. 9/10 sandwich that leaves my seat mates irritated by the smell and my stomach perfectly satisfied.
More travel dispatches in the coming weeks from less exotic spots in the Japanese countryside. Stay tuned!
You were in my current area— I live in Nyack! Lol-ed my way through this.