What is a Retreat?

Thoughts on retreating

The fog in Carmel Valley one morning when I went for a run.

The word retreat has one meaning but two connotations that are different from one another. The word comes from a Latin word that means “pull back,” and it can mean to withdraw from an enemy force in defeat or withdraw a position in the face of criticism. It can also mean to withdraw to a quiet secluded place for rest. As a noun, it’s a secluded place for rest or contemplation. Sometimes, it can feel like all those meanings in one.

As I mentioned, I was on a writing retreat last week, and it felt like all that at once. As you can see from the picture I took, I went to secluded place for rest and quiet and to write. I did it because sometimes I feel defeated by my enemies, my domestic and work obligations, which make it hard to focus on creative efforts. Whichever way I use the word, the retreat was useful not only for writing lots of words, which I did, but also because I noticed a couple of things that I hope will change my writing practice at home.

All of our meals were prepared for us. I don’t think I realized what a big difference that would make. Meal planning and preparation, including the shopping and cooking and worrying and the hunger while I’m doing it, take a huge toll on my energy and imagination. The meals alone were liberating.

I cannot multitask. After reading Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention by Johann Hari, I happen to believe no one can multitask. We only microtask and our concentration degrades the more we try to do and the more frequently we change tasks. I really noticed it at the retreat because I only had to do what I allowed myself to do. By stripping away my distractions, I really noticed when I was interrupted. Each afternoon, someone came in to play piano in one of the writing spaces, the theater. I didn’t go the first day but the second day, someone started vacuuming in the common room, so I moved to the theater to write. Piano music was better than the vacuum cleaner but I still had a hard time thinking of words if I paused long enough to listen to it.

Reading out loud is a forgotten art of entertainment. On Friday night, someone suggested we read aloud from our own work and we took turns reading in five-minute increments. I’ve never read my own stories aloud and it was SO helpful both to hear the cadence of my own language and to experience the emotions of the reader at the same time. Listening to other people’s words, especially from a selection that I wouldn’t have made, had a similar effect. It reminded me of reading to my kids and how soothing it was for each of us.

I’m still processing the experience, I think. Because this is a short letter today, I want to recommend two readings from women who were at the retreat with me. The Secret Drawers: Abortion at Age 12, by Rachel Hannah - the trigger warning is right there in the title. Rachel was a brave woman before she was a woman, and this story feels like a common story told with uncommon sensitivity. The Modern Love column Perhaps It Was In Giving That They Received by Ilana Kramer is so sweet that you will fall in love with everyone involved and cry happy tears at the end. Notably, the retreat was for fiction writers, not memoirists, but many people felt inclined to share their personal stories. I look forward to sharing their novels as they arrive in the world.

In two weeks, this blog will be one year old. They grow up so fast! I’ve published every week since I started, and I plan to keep going. If you like this, please share it. Also, make sure it’s not going to your spam folder, please!